Les mots. Words.

One of my most important lessons that I have learned since being a foreigner has been the importance of feeling appreciated. When you arrive in a new country, without any previous ties or relations, it is essential that you make every effort to find some good friends. For some people, it is difficult to admit that they need other people, but that is what makes us human beings. The reason why even the earliest homo sapiens formed civilizations is the same motivation for why we continue to do so today, and the same goes for close relationships. Perhaps the specific incentives vary, and yet, the fundamental concept is that humans thrive on contact with one another. What is the point of knowledge, material goods, or even life, if there is no one to share it with, or whose envy contributes to its value? It is a basic concept that similarly explains why individuals feel lonely, and or seek the companionship of others, because otherwise life has no value. Humans require acceptance from others in the shape of families, friends, lovers, neighbors and co-workers, whether they acknowledge this dependence, or not.
The challenge that I struggled to understand for years is why should one consider it a weakness to need other people, especially since it is part of our nature!? It is not strange or embarrassing to show others that you love or appreciate them, and to desire similar actions in return. You only harm yourself more in the end, by continually isolating yourself out of comfort and fear of being hurt. I have noticed an annoying pattern that the most challenging obstacles in life are the ones that are the most worth pursuing, because they render the most rewarding outcomes.
Another key, is that you can still be independent, while enjoying companionship from others. When it comes to personal relationships, for example, there is a difference between being an independent person, who occasionally enjoys solitude and piece of mind, as opposed to completely distancing others. I have yet to meet such an individual, who is truly content in his or her social seclusion, despite his or her insistence. Besides, the act of bragging about one’s independence is ironic, is it not, after all? If a person were truly un-reliant on the esteem of others, then they would have no need to convince others of their own stability.
The third and often most challenging aspect of relationships is learning how to show others that you care about them, which is a gradual and intimidating process. In my opinion, the first, and probably the most terrifying step, is to be open about your feelings, as well as to be willing to listen to those of others. This is particularly frightening because in the beginning, you have no idea whether the person will accept or reject your feelings, however, you will never learn which individuals are worth sharing your thoughts with, unless you make the effort. Once you have exchanged your sentiments, there is the equally important matter of supporting your words with actions. Even I will admit that words alone do not sufficiently convey certain sentiments, and that there is nothing more powerful than a good hug! Simple gestures like affectionately touching the shoulder of a friend, or even acts as daring as holding hands, say more than any well-intentioned phrase or a well-written letter.
Lately, I found that the more information that my friends have about me, and that I learn about them, then the stronger our relationship becomes. I also realized how amazing and insightful hugs or body language are, and how you will only profit by requesting hugs from friends. In fact, you will instinctively recognize subtle signs of reciprocal affection, or the lack there of, which only physical contact conveys. If you want my advice, then say more when it comes to reservations about yourself, and say less and hug more, when it comes to showing others how you feel about them.